Guitly

I feel guilty sometimes for having a boyfriend, having two wonderful jobs and all the things that I am great at doing.  I know that it is not my fault for having mosaicm but I do still feel guilty. Couple of weeks ago I went to Bryan’s for dinner he lives up the road from me. (Yes we do live on the same street.)  We had pizza for dinner and I had fun that evening but when I was walking back to my house I felt guilty because my CDC brothers and sisters won’t get to ever experience eating pizza with their boyfriend/girlfriend and I try not to feel guilty but sometimes it doesn’t work.  I love my CDC brothers and sisters and sometimes I compare my life to theirs because I get to experience so many wonderful things like going to work at Trade Aid and being set out little challenge by my boss because I am goal oriented and we have changed my challenge to cash transactions because we don’t get many percentages on the till. I still struggle with cash transactions I know how to do eftops even though we changed the process of eftops transactions and I need 10 cash transactions to get my elephant teatowels and that is my reward for doing ten cash transactions all by myself without any help from Cricket or the other volunteer who works with me on a Tuesday morning.  Sometimes I get sad about what I can do while others with my syndrome can’t do what I can I do like read a new book in one whole day but then I think of all the joy that they are bringing to their families lives.